I once posted on my blog, that it's not good to forget what you experienced in life. Because that'd mean you run away from your past. But I think now, some things are better best forgotten. Well, not actually forget, perhaps more like let go and move on.
Sometimes, or often, things were not going the way you planned. Certain things were totally not yours to decide. Situation could be so difficult that no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, you had to admit that it's impossible for you to hang on.
You're making your choices, and it must be what you thought was best at the moment. So once you did, don't look back. Things will either turn out good or bad. And if the second option happen, don't blame yourself, because you didn't have that much power to bring somebody down. They decide whether they want to be sad or happy, not you. So give them space, and take yours. They said it takes two to tango. You'd done your part, and it's enough.
You know at the end of everything, you got no one to blame. Not even yourself. Because you've learned to forgive yourself, you have learned to understand other. But sometimes you still can't take the fact that you cannot have the things you want. And you're upset, because you're just spoiled little girl who always has to get what you desire.
But you put smile on your face and play happy. Simple gesture that said: hey buddy, you didn't affect me that much. Then eventually, you'll forget. Au revoir.
You know what costumers mostly expect from you? Consistency. You know what you should earn and protect from your costumers? Trust. Because that means you appreciate all the hard work they pour into so that they could come to you, expect you to do this little thing for them so that you could make they're lives a little easier.
You could say thousand sweet words. You could spit on somebody else's work. That's okay. As long as you could prove that you could work better than those persons you despised. Because I think you're not a dumb-arrogant-son-of-a-bitch IF you really were that good. But saying lots of things to make yourself look much better then come with shitty work; that, Buddy, made you a lying-bastard. And what's your name again? Karya Agung? Andre? Viki?
I sincerely hope you'll soon find yourself in bankruptcy so that you can no longer fooling around with people who are so naively willing to trust you. Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice.
Yours faithfully.
Sebuah festival-festivalan di Bandung...
Jumat, 13 November 2009 @ Auditorium CCF.
Oke, jadi katanya acara ini adalah festival tahunan yang diadakan oleh Classicorp Indonesia yang bertujuan mendorong musisi lokal untuk tampil di depan publik. Tahun ini tema 'Viennese' dipilih untuk memperingati 200 tahun meninggalnya Joseph Haydn. *nyontek dari program*
Sebenernya sih gue juga nggak ngerti, tema Viennese untuk tahun ini? Bukannya memang namanya Viennese Festival? Entahlah...
Hasil jalan-jalan iseng gue dan Iin: mengunjungi Museum Geologi. Barengan sama anak-anak SD dan SMA.
Nggak besar ternyata ya. Only two stories museum dan di lantai duanya ada ruangan gede yang kosong. Sayang banget... Nggak ada sejam udah selesai muter-muterin semua dan foto-foto ge-je. Tapi lumayan sih, bersih, rapi, dan spacious. Dan gratis.
So... once upon a time, I did some study for my Industrial Waste Management exam. As I read further, I came to this conclusion: the end of the world is approaching, fast.
With a lot of industries going on, people and their convert-into-carbon activities, power plants, drillings... we've done nothing but added more and more glass house gases. And the process isn't reversible, you cannot convert those carbon-dioxide into gas or methane. Carbon dioxide takes approximately 100 years to be out of our atmosphere.
So even if the whole world stop doing their industrial activities and get back to the stone age, we have to wait another 100 years for green house gases to leave our atmosphere. But it's impossible, anyway. I mean, how can people live without decent clothes, good foods, televisions, phones, Google, airplanes...??
All those reuse, reduce, recycle, recovery things are just slowing down the process of ending earth's life. And that only can happen if the whole world get together and feel the same urgency to lengthen earth's life.
Couple decades ago, the biggest energy consumers had been developed countries. Now, with all the environment issues, they begun to research for much cleaner technologies. On the other hands, underdeveloped countries are now taking parts of developed countries to become biggest energy consumers. Through some stages, I believe realization will come again and those underdeveloped countries will find their way to cleaner technologies. But we still have undeveloped countries waiting in line. And who can guarantee that earth will survive until then?
I think the most effective way is to begin searching for another livable planet. Live there for couple of hundred years, destroy the planet with even higher technologies and worse pollutions, then begin to search for another planet... We all can be aliens travel around galaxy by UFO.
It's cool, Freaks.
Haven't you noticed? We're so much alike, that's why I can read you so easily. So much alike that maybe I'm not the one you need. Vice versa.
I love this quote. *tears*
It's been long since last time I posted. Umm..., nothing's quite interesting happened. I was just done hosting a national seminar (which I was dead bored), but not really a story whatsoever. Bandung had stop raining about a week ago. Yada-yada-yada... Lame.
I'm filled with much negative aura today. Thanks to my very disturbed sleep. You've got to have a nice way of waking up, I hate to be 'banged' in such early morning. Not to mention my room is total mess. And now I'm complaining a lot in a blog.
But still... Happy morning, Everyone! They said you have to face each day with a smile plastered in your face, mind fills with happy thoughts... and your day will be livable. Have a great Wednesday!
It's another earth-quake. And I'm getting a little dramatic, if not conscious. Do you believe in Apocalypse? That someday the world we all know will eventually be gone? And when that day happen, will you regret the things you've done in your life? What would be the last thing on your mind? Will you finally feel relieve? Then what's the worth of tomorrow's plan, if everything ended today?
For those who survived, they'd rise again someday, somehow. But those who didn't, what happen to them? Is it cold in the place they're in now? Is it dark? And would there be someone to help them? To be a shoulder to cry on? To give a shelter to rely on?
And I'm scared, while humanity has been taken from me. Hypocrisy.
Selagi gue menulis ini, orang-orang lagi meneropong bulan dan mensimulasikan sesuatu di laptop-laptop mereka... Yang membuat gue bertanya-tanya. Dulu pas jaman nabi gimana ya? Kan belum ada teropong, belum ada komputer... Terus gimana kalo mendung dan si hilal yang ditunggu-tunggu tetep nggak keliatan sampai Rabu depan? Hummm... Kasian juga yang mesti masak buat Lebaran. Kalo Lebarannya besok, ada yang belum nyiapin. Kalo Lebarannya Senin, ada yang udah masak. Hummm...
Noordin M. Top is dead. And the world cheers. How ironic that one's greatest contribution to humankind is his leaving the world forever.
While the TVs were continuously reporting the news, I red couple of news from American websites. Just curious in what they had in stock to say. Nothing much actually. MSNBC said Indonesia terror chief killed in raid, CNN said Indonesia's top terror suspect killed in raid... I know it's supposed to be an achievement for Indonesian police (especially when this institution is actually in on-going open war with another public institution), but it's sad that word Indonesia had to be in the same sentence with terrorist. This 'terror chief' was actually belonged to Malaysia. And I've stopped shopping shoes at Vincci since last year.
The negative sentiment toward Malaysia has grown rapidly nowadays. Indonesian labors in Malaysia, Manohara, Ambalat, Rasa Sayange, Tari Pendet, Reog Ponorogo, Negaraku vs Terang Bulan, Indonesia Raya........ *and long list continues* But now that I think about it, perhaps Malaysia just wants to help us out.
It's just like what they always say in campus while talking about 'kaderisasi' aka 'ospek' aka student orientation, that solidarity bounds in high pressure. Lets just admit it, if there's no such claim from Malaysia to... umm... Ambalat (??), or sadism toward Indonesian labors, or highly-disrespectful joke toward Indonesian national anthem, there might never be Indonesian solidarity like Indonesia Unite. Terang Bulan might never be so popular. Kids might never be able to see Tari Pendet or Reog Ponorogo on TV. Yey! Thank you, Malaysia!
My dad once said, "Maybe there's outlandish intelligent trying to ignite war between Indonesia and Malaysia."
Well, I won't speculate on that. But I do think everything has two sides of stories. I just red a friend's post on Facebook that before Indonesia Raya, Malaysia's own national anthem was being disgraced by people who claimed as Indonesians. If it's true, then it's not-so-wise-but-just-natural reaction from Malaysian to do the same with Indonesian national anthem. While the labor-issue..., well it is against humanity, but let's face it. Even more labors are treated badly in those Middle East countries. We should be consistent, if we're really care about the fates of Indonesian labors abroad and not just being reactive toward provocations.
Between you and me, I think Malaysia is trying to compete with Singapore as a transit place for international boarding. Putting Reog and its friends on their websites, then when tourists ask about them they'll simply say: "Oh, it's in Indonesia... not far from here. You can take ferry or flight." Watch it, S'pore!
Doesn't mean that I will buy anything from Vincci again, though. Their products are just totally lame. Quality control, please...
note: I start writing perezhilton-style. Not good.
I've never been a fan of Twitter. Hell, I didn't even know the use of it until a couple hours ago.
My daylight activities during Lebaran break revolve around perezhilton.com and YouTube. I was supposed to work on my projects, earning some money to pay the bills... Instead I watched a video where Kanye insanely went up to the stage and cut Taylor out during her acceptance speech at VMA. Then one thing led to another and I found myself surfing on perezhilton.com and reading celebrity tweet.
Well, at least Twitter boosted my knowledge. Now I know why they call Paula a crybaby. *run*
If anyone asks me what I desire most in this world, that would be to live happily ever after. But then, it turns out that life isn't that easy. I have to think about other things that I have to desire. Like what I want to be. Professionally.
Lately it seems like most of my friends are beginning to set the paths they want to step in. Some of them are thinking about multinational-company they want to work at, some are preparing for further studies, some are getting married (okay, I made this up)...
That's like a slap in the face. I have no idea of what I'm going to do after graduation. Fortunately, I still have at least a year to figure that out.
I always believe that everyone was born with her/his own true calling. Yea..., I know it sounds cliche. I think everyone was born for reason. And the reason is that so-called-calling.
I mean, we all born different. Anyone can search this whole world for someone like me, and they would always find the second best of me. Not because I'm perfect, but because I am me. Nobody can be a better version of me but myself..., right?
So then I think, life isn't about competition. Because we're all special and have our own unique way to make contributions. And money will come afterward; its only a logical consequences of us working. Great works are those that contribute greatly to mankind, anyway.
Each one of us has a part in order to make this world a good place for living. Each has his/her true calling. I don't what happens in this world. Those who has no empathy become doctors. Those who love acting become engineers. Those who are after money become lawyers. Those who have no idea about rightness become journalists. What happen to dreams? To contributions?
Back to decide what I'm going to do... I'm trying so hard to make the whoever-who-do-the-call calling me.
Pleaaaase...??
I like this song so very much that I've repeated it over and over again. Yea..., I know it's old. But this song kind of made me happy every time I listened to it. Odd. Never mind.
It'd been raining all morning and I dove my way back beneath the blanket. I used to love rain, but the humid weather and a cloudy heart was just too much.
To say that I wasn't expecting this to happen would be a lie. And I knew it was partly my fault. Because I failed to do what I was expected.
But still I wondered why. Was that because you and I were not as close as we're supposed to? Or because you didn't like me that much? Or maybe because you picked something else above me?
Well, if that's the case, then did that mean I did something wrong? Or simply never been good enough?
Then tell me where did I go wrong. Be mad at me.
You should tell me because I wasn't mind reader. You should criticize me because that would make us better. Don't give me sweet words or blame yourself for mistakes you did not do.
I had never been perfect and neither had you. But we're in this together to be better. So speak your mind and confront me if you have to. Anything but this silence of thin air.
Kan sebetulnya gue nulis blog dengan bahasa Inggris karena nyokap gue bilang: 'Kakak, bahasa inggris kamu kok jadi jelek sih? itu lah..., kamu nggak pernah pake sih.' Jadi kan ceritanya gue menggunakan tuh. Tapi kemarin nyokap gue bilang: 'Kakak, bahasa inggris kamu kok jelek sih...'
Sebel kan gue. Yaudah. Gue tetep pake bahasa Indonesia. Mau 17 Agustus-an juga. *nggak nyambung*
Eniwei..., tadi siang kan gue iseng-iseng nyalain TV. Lalu gue nonton reportase siang (abis nonton Insert soalnya >.<). Nah, videonya Marshanda jadi headline aja dong... Penting banget nggak sih. Trus lebih penting lagi gue mencari videonya di Youtube.
Menit-menit pertama gue cuma nonton dia maninin her silicon cased Blackberry dengan backsound lagu Angel-nya Sarah McLachlan.
Trus pas lagunya udah mau abis dan disusul lagu Blackbird, si Caca ini kan ngomong-ngomong blablabla... gitu. Pake kata 'lo jangan gini gitu'... Trus komen-komennya videonya bilang kayak: 'jangan sok nasehatin' dsb. Nah lo.
Gue bingungnya, karna gue kok nggak ngerasa si Caca *aih.., sok kenal* ini lagi nasehatin ya? Iya sih dia bilang 'cari cita-cita, jangan cari duit' atau 'cari temen boleh, tapi jangan lebay'. Tapi gue ngerasanya itu dia bilang karena dia selama ini cari uang, bukan ngelakuin apa yang bener-bener dia mau. Terus mungkin dia tipe people pleaser yang takut bakal nggak disukain kalo jadi dirinya sendiri. Mungkin dia ngomong gitu untuk dirinya sendiri?
Ih, gue tau gue aneh. Tapi gue juga suka nulis di blog dengan kata 'you', dan gue nggak berniat untuk nasehatin yang baca blog gue. It's just way to express my thought, and it's almost like talking to myself.
Gue nggak belain Marshanda. Hell no. Gue nggak tau juga itu public stunt kah. Setelah Manohara dan Dewi Persik, gue rasa artis melakukan apa aja untuk tetep terkenal. Meskipun terkenal karena gila. Liat Courtney Love. Gue cuma meng-compare caranya ngomong dan cara gue menulis. Soalnya pas gue baca 'sok nasehatin' itu gue jadi kayak: apa gue juga terkesan menasehati ya??
Yah..., akhirnya itu balik lagi ke cara orang berkomunikasi yang beda-beda. Mungkin.
Last Saturday I watched that so-called four fingered pianist. Well, I have to say that if you went to that show to watch a piano recital, perhaps you'd be a little disappointed. Because it was so not about piano performance. Instead, it was more like motivation training.
You see, this Hee Ah Lee was born with Lobster Claw syndrome. Meaning, she only has two fingers each hand and her legs end about the knees. At first, I thought she was too exposed by her 'imperfection', like Manohara. But then as I remembered the tagline of this show: Dream The Impossible Dream, I realized that it was necessary to mention her 'decays' to show how strong she actually is.
Her performances was poor IF she's a normal pianist with complete sets of fingers. Too many skipping notes and quite messy tempo. It wasn't Fantaisie Impromptu or Hungarian Dance as you usually heard.
Nonetheless, this was a good show.
There's this video about her life and how she managed to be what she is now. I was crying even before she got on stage. You could see her struggle and belief, and really got carried away with her story. And she's really nice and naive and sweet and always smiled. Looks like she's always happy no matter what.
She's a living proof that you can reach even the unreachable star. I mean, playing classical repertoire is already difficult as it is. I can barely imagine how hard she'd worked on that to be able to perform the way she had (she said she practiced 10 hours a day. No kidding!).
If you can have the best, why doing for the less? Feel free to dream the most impossible dream.
I'm not really in the mood for doing anything recently. Hahahaha... I've bought like ten books during this semester break and succeed to finish only one. I was supposed to practice three movements of a piano sonata and only manage to play one. Even last time I went for shopping-shoes with my mom and sister, I only bought one pair. I guess I'm really into the number 'one' these days.
Anyway..., we're working on one project right now: Boulevard's new issue will be out on mid-August. Hopefully it will be ready by this weekend.
It has to be.
My dad has already bought tickets for Hee Ah Lee's piano recital this Saturday. Can you believe she only has four fingers and no-legs-only-knees?? Well, I guess you can't beat talents. I mean, even Beethoven wrote symphonies and orchestras even when he's deaf.
I always envy those who really know where they belong. I mean, isn't that scary, when you only has four fingers, you want to play that Schubert's repertoir so very much? Then you decide to perform in front of audiences who will mercilessly judge you? Isn't it scary to catch a dream, that people thought, is impossible for you to reach?
Where does she get such strength? Maybe the answer is like one in those fairy tales, by believing in it.
I think they're rare, those moments when you really hear what your heart wants to say. So when you do, I think you should go for it. Or else you'll be sorry.
I just read an article written by Faisal Basri on Kompasiana under title Pak Boed yang Saya Kenal and also its comments from readers. I came to conclusion that politic only gives me more headache. Dwelling with your own idealism, trying so much to understand why people think the way they do, definitely tiring.
Most likely I was wrong. When the issue of neo-liberalism versus that-so-called-ekonomi-kerakyatan first arose, I was thinking, wasn't it ekonomi Pancasila that I'd been taught Indonesia did, in my PPKn class in Junior High Shcool? I remember they were four: liberal, communist, kerakyatan, and Pancasila. Three of them (liberal, communist, kerakyatan) have long definitions, but ekonomi Pancasila was define only by (plus-minus) 'taking advantage from liberal and communist economic system'. I don't know. Most of all, I don't care. I mean, they're just ways, theories.
In engineering, we are taught to define the goal first. In this case, most probably the goal is for each and every people to be able to fulfill their basic needs. Next step is to define the situation. Then to define best ways to handle situation so that the main goal can be reached. Then optimizing to find even better solution. Then execute the plan.
So for me it doesn't matter if it's liberal or communist or socialist or whatever system we hold as long as it can efficiently fulfill the supreme goal. Or maybe we can even make new system, shoetish-system or whatever. Making our own theories, ways, journals, shoes...
This holy crap about neo-liberalism and ekonomi kerakyatan issue, in my opinion, is just unimportant.
Living a life is like learning how to drive. You've got to have confidence to move forward and watch what's right in front of you. You can't constantly look behind nor think about what would lie ten miles ahead.
(Devy, who had just crashed her car onto a pick up)
I was trying to sleep. On my bed, eyes closed, ready for slumber to take me in. But..., it didn't. And while I was figuring out why the hell I couldn't sleep (just then I remember I should've not had coffee in the evening), something just came up.
It's always been like that, some thoughts usually just come popping in my head at most unexpected time. Anyway, I was thinking about thing they call 'mistake'.
In making decision, especially important ones, we usually think so hard about it. When it doesn't feel right we think and think and think again until it does. And if it still doesn't, we just pick one, close our eyes and hope it's the right thing to do. If I should pick between off-white ballet shoes and those back-on-trend oxford pumps, that would be hard. The ballet shoes certainly more useful for I can wear it daily and I'd been wanting those since first time I saw them on Elle. While the pumps... I don't do clubbing and if I wear those shoes on special occasion like wedding reception I will be taller than like 3/4 of entire guests. But those oxfords was super-gorgeous, I think I was going to faint when I first saw it. This was when common sense and lust battling against each other.
I already think over and over and over... and still haven't decide if 'think too much' is ever exist. I think the right words are more like 'worry too much'. I mean, even Einstein say 'learn from yesterday, hope for tomorrow, and live for today'. I'm certain Einstein did that thinking thing more frequently than the rest of us. So I don't see there's connection between 'think too much' and not be able to live for now. But it's normal that when we're about to make decision, we're being haunt by fear 'what if what I was going to do was a mistake after all?'.
Well, in the case of shopping, either shoes I bought, there's possibility that I would've regret it later. Sebastian in Little Mermaid once said (or sang) 'the seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake'. It's not only talking about what you have and what other has. But also, talking about your real life and your what-if life. It's the basic character of every people, I guess, never being content of what we already have. When we're living this life, and at some point it didn't turn out okay, we would wonder what if that day we chose the other side of the road.
But accident just happens either on the right or the left side. Even when we drive safe, so be sure to put on your seatbelt. Then again, if it's already the time, you would still die even when you're wearing it.
I think mistake is not a mistake if we succeed to learn from it, so we won't make the same mistake twice. I learned that, hard way. It might sound cliche, but the storm does leave me stronger. So whichever path you choose, accept it. If it's right, cherish it. If it's wrong, learn from it. In the end, I'm sure we're all going to be just fine.
I was blog-walking on my friends' when I saw this quote in Adri's: "Money: if you can use, it's your slave; if you can't, it's your master." (from Old Roman proverb at a tablet found in Verona). My Mom definitely should read this when she complains about my shoppings.
Yeah..., I know it sounds like an elementary student's essay. But really, I just realized how full of energy my mom is. I mean, she's a working mother. She's home by six, then does her prayer, then cooks for diner (her spoiled children never eat the same meal twice a day), then takes her shower, then prepares my dad's diner (her spoiled husband doesn't eat her children's favorite meal), then does whatever-it-is with her take home work. Then in the morning, she's still the one who gets up first. Then wakes the rest household up. How she can manage to do it all still amazes me.
I've been wondering for days of why Chuck Bass was like... so hard-headed in admitting his feelings toward Blair Waldorf. I mean, I know that he never felt love toward anyone and that she was his first love. *jeez..., I can't believe I wrote something so cliche* But I still didn't get it, why? Wasn't he supposed to feel grateful for finding such thing as to love and be loved?
Then this morning, something came into my mind. Anonymous quotation said: why is the one who can stop you from crying, is the one that is making you cry? Then I think, based on experience, the closer someone is to your heart, the easier can they break you down. Like once, when I was younger, my mother was like... freaking out on me. Then I would've hid in the closet and cried. Eventually I came out, because it's like... dark and and hard to breath in there. But the point is I love her so dearly that when she hurt me even if it's unintentionally, I would break.
Chuck Bass had been hurt too many times in his pathetic life. Losing his mother after she gave birth to him, losing his father after Chuck finally found out that he actually loved his son, losing his best friend for sleeping with Blair (aka his best friend's girlfriend)... So perhaps, the insecurity he held inside was enough to make him push Blair out of his life. By letting Blair into his heart meant he was giving Blair more power to break him. Hahaha... I should've taken psychology instead of engineering.
At the very last episode he came back to her, though. Good for him. I mean, wasn't stupid for two people who loved each other, instead of cherishing what they had, all they did was pushing each other away? They just did too much drama. But hey, that's what made Gossip Girl... quiet interesting.*wink, wink*
It had been raining for about an hour now. The blue rabbit was hiding in an empty hole. She's far from home, trapped by the rain. But strange enough, for once, she didn't mind it. Perhaps it's for the better. Now she could think. About the weather, about the green grass of August, about life.
She had been living in the same forest for as long as she could remember. She had grown playing with the deers and squirrels, jumping and trying to catch butterflies that flied over the flower bed. Everything was perfect here, but she knew better. She didn't tell anyone, but unlike those luckless mermaids who had never gotten a chance to step on the shore, she had went outside the security of the mother forest, couple of times.
She would never tell a soul how she could be there. But the world outside the forest was beautiful, but in the different kind of beauty. Instead of the fresh air of woods, it smelled like an awful mix of carbon, perfume, meats, and... practically everything. Instead of the warmth of the sun that went through the leaves of trees, it was the hot direct sunlight that almost burned her little uncovered skin on the tip of her long ears. But yet, she stood still. Too startled by the whole new environment around her.
Then she saw him. A little boy looking so charming in his white polo and casual knee-length jeans. "Blue rabbit..." he murmured. "I've never seen one like this before..."
The boy picked her up and brought her to his house. There, he immediately put her on the kitchen table and opened the refrigerator. He pulled out a carrot, sliced it into a few sticks and gave it to the blue rabbit. Hesitantly, she picked the carrot from his palm and began to chew. It tasted weird, not like ones she'd used to consume. But she swallowed it anyway. She's starving.
She looked up to the boy. The boy looked back at her. He smiled. And the blue rabbit returned his smile shyly. The boy, of course, didn't know this.
The boy played with her for a while on the garden. Then, his mother called. It's time for dinner. The sun has set for a while now. The boy patted blue rabbit's head and walked toward the house.
Blue rabbit was left alone in the garden. She didn't understand why the boy suddenly turned his back on her. She's very sad. She thought the boy wanted to play with her.
Blue rabbit looked around her, suddenly realized that she's alone, far away from home. She began to feel afraid. But she couldn't cry. She felt numb. Blue rabbit jumped to who-knew-where. She only stopped when she's already far away from the boy's house too. Now she's more terrified than ever. She wanted to go back there but she didn't know where she was. Fortunately mother rabbit came. Blue rabbit didn't know how mother rabbit could be there and in perfect timing too. But she did. Mother rabbit scolded blue rabbit, but she's much more worried than mad. Mother rabbit then escorted her daughter back to the forest.
Blue rabbit was sad. She kept thinking about the little boy and why he stopped playing with her. She didn't even like to chase the flying butterflies anymore, even when they're only a paw away from her.
One day, a yellow-black stripes honey bee came near blue rabbit and asked her what's wrong. Blue rabbit told the honey bee about the boy and honey bee said, "Maybe something happened to his brother?"
The rabbit tilted her head. "His brother?"
"Yes. When my brother was sick, I had to take care of him and spent almost all day in his chamber."
"Do you think his brother was sick?"
"I don't know... That day, why didn't you wait for him and ask him?"
The blue rabbit went silent. Was she afraid to know?
Days had gone slow for the rabbit. But yet, she managed to find her smile again. Mother rabbit had said to her, what's done is done. She could do better in the future. Don't you allow yourself to keep dwelling on your past, Blue...
Blue rabbit found herself in the outside of the forest, again. What made her here, she couldn't remember. She just felt like doing it and there she was. The sun almost rose on the horizon, giving gold shimmers on across the tall walls, the big road, and few people's heads. Blue rabbit sighed in awe. This place outside the forest, no matter how bad it smelled, always held certain fascination for blue rabbit.
As the sun crawled higher, the crowd of people increased. But people didn't seem to pay attention to blue rabbit, until it was noon. A girl with pony tail came toward the rabbit, interested with her soft blue fur. This girl was still wearing her plaid elementary school uniform and her Snoopy bag pack.
"Whoaa..." the girl said excitedly and then giggled. She took blue rabbit to her arms and softly caressed her fur. "I've never seen a blue rabbit before. I should tell my mother."
The girl ran toward her house with blue rabbit in her arms. The rabbit could hear the girl's beating heart and feel her strains of hair softly tickled blue rabbit's nose. The girl took her inside the house and show blue rabbit to her mother. "Itsn't it beautiful Mommy? I've never seen a blue rabbit!"
Her mother also looked at the blue rabbit in disbelief. "Me neither, Sweetheart... Me neither..."
Blue rabbit immediately made friends with the girl. The girl would spare a nice bit of her muffin for blue rabbit, allowed blue rabbit to sleep on her bed for a while, and laughed when blue rabbit played with her mother's knitting ball. That day was going fast, the sun had set and it's time for goodbye.
The girl put blue rabbit on the grass of her garden and said, "You know blue? Mommy doesn't want me to take you. She said I'm not allowed to take a pet because they always died. I didn't want them to be dead, but they do. Mommy said they all went to heaven. But I didn't want you to be dead also." By that, the girl left blue rabbit and went back into her home.
This time, blue rabbit knew that the girl had let her go. But still, every afternoon blue rabbit would go from her home deep in the forest to seek for the girl. And as always, the girl would wait for her in front of the door house, as patient as one little girl could do. The little girl would fed her, played with her, and told her stories.
One day, the blue rabbit was snuggling onto the girl's lap. While the little hand of the girl caressed her fur. Then the girl said, "Is it okay, dear Blue? If I take you for a while? I really want to adopt you, you know? I want something worth remembering, even if you have to die like the rest of my now-in-heaven pets. But I don't know... Mommy said, I will only hurt myself more."
Blue rabbit was wiser now, she'd really love for the girl to understand what she's trying to say. Don't fly if you're going to fall. It's stupid. It doesn't matter how beautiful the view, the hurt from the fall will erase everything. But go on and fly, as free as it can be. To land on the branch, as impossible as it might seem. Gracefully, with the one you love truly. You deserve something that will last.
I just noticed that they don't put out dates in this template. How am I supposed to know when did I write these things??? But I'm too lazy anyway, to pick up new template and everything. So I'll just keep this they way it is.
I watched The Clique a while ago. Yes, that movie with 12-years-old-girls and their Balenciaga bags and Prada shoes. That was a piece of junk, for sure. Damn. I can't believe I had passed my junior high school long time ago, then high school, and now in college. Does the time ever get a rest?? I mean, I didn't even get sufficient time for being mean and inconsiderate.
As I look back on things I'd done in my past, I think I'd been a too-good-girl. I never stabbed anyone behind their backs, I never made friends to anyone just to fit in, I never classified anyone based on their parents' wealth or clothes they wear. Gossiping is normal and totally not a crime, so that doesn't count. See? I was a good girl, and I still am. But being a bitch now seems like fun. Hahahaha... I just wish I had took as many chances as possible, made as many 'little' mistakes as possible. I mean, I was young, it's my right to do the wrongs.
As people get older, they not only get more responsibilities, but recognitions as well. I am way too wise now, to start a war with some girls just because I don't like the way they dress, the way they walk, or the way hold their purses. I also am way too graceful to make an exhibition of myself on Facebook or Twitter. And way too aware to constantly talking about sales, latest trends, dream shoes, idols, Mischa Barton, Adam Broody, Paris Hilton... I have no time for regular shoppings and The O.C is like oh-so-last-decade. Even when I watch GossipGirl, I feel like: duh. I mean, they're like in high school and all 17-years-old. And here I am feeling so totally more mature in my 20.
Well, I guess every stage of life has its own excitement. I just have to cherish the time I have and make the most of it.
I was watching when US president, Barack Obama, gave a speech at Cairo University, Egypt. I just realized that he's really good at speeching. I mean, his body language told people that he was confident, strong, yet warm at the same time. I think he'd really gotten people's attention and sympathy by showing them appreciation.
He greeted them by saying 'assalamu'alaikum'. That word let the audience know that he respected Muslims and he knew them well not to say 'warrahmatullahi wabarakatu' for he's Christian anyway. Also, he showed them deep knowledge about Islamic history and kept saying that American and Islam were not enemies. He said things like Morocco was the first country who recognized US independence, first Muslim's congressman in US, Thomas Jefferson kept Quran in his study, similarities of Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad, and so on.
I really like the way he spoke, as if he really believed that eventually we could live at peace together. He did not focus of what we must prevent or fight against, he focused of doing what we can to get what we want. He's sooooo like people in book The Secret. I remember a quote Mother Theresa said, "If you want me to march against war, that I will not do. But if you ask me to march for peace, then count me in." That, I think, what the world really needs.
It's easier to have in mind what we don't want. Like, I don't want to study, I don't want to get fat, I don't want him, I don't want bla-bla-bla... But if you don't want to study then what you want? If you don't want to get fat then what you want? And what's the definition of fat anyway?
For me, it's better to set a goal I want to achieve, rather than to be frightened by absurd things. I want to be able to play Beethoven's Pathetique, that I do even if I have to beat myself out by playing piano 3-4 hours a day. Kept repeating the same partition and those fingers-exercises over and over again. The problem is, sometimes we just don't know what we want.
Perhaps, once in while, we need to stop doing what we were doing. Really take a good look on things we have done, really feel the rightness, passion, and compassion. Then maybe, we can really learn from yesterday, hope for tomorrow, and live for today.
Happy morning, Everyone.
Well, I've never been good in saying something like prelude. So this is it. My brand new blog. I guess I won't be writing on the old one anymore. It took me like forever just to decide the template. And... here it is, as you see.
Anyway, now is like 2.14 AM. I'm still awake. Partly because... well I'm sort of in my semester break and just like any college student who's having a break, I spent my day in all the glory of laziness I have within. Meaning: didn't do anything but playing piano, IM-ing, watching DVDs... Anyway, as I'm writing this, I think I heard someone press the tuts of MY piano outside my room. And I heard a sound as if someone tried to close the piano. Me and my sisters have a bad habit when it comes to that, we never bother to close the piano.
This is quiet scary. I want to go outside and take a leak, but I figure I can wait until morning when everyone is up. Then I look at the door of my room, I realize I haven't closed it properly. Well, my dad haven't closed it properly after saying goodnight. And I am too scared even to close the door. Well, I figure if this whatever-thing even bother to close the piano, 'it' can do with my door as well. That's if I'm not just imagining things. It's pretty late now. So well, perhaps I AM imagining thing.
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