For you who's searching for 'you'. Things are rough when you're twenty-something, baby!
After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
I could work for the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even separate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for my Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Don't wanna get up, just have a lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth eludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me
All: scat
[Sung freely]
I'm a twentysomething, let me lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething
Life is not something you can predict, I guess. And it's not too easy to live either. We can only assume; sometimes we're right, other times we're wrong.
There's always a surprise in every turn. Sometimes it puts a smile on our faces. Sometimes it brings a heartache.
There were times when I thought I must get what I want. I refused to fail. I refused to accept that most things in this world is just out of my reach. But then I learned to deal with broken dreams, broken promises, and broken heart. And found out that the best way to avoid disappointments is to not expect anything.
Then I thought... so what's the use of dream? If we don't expect it to come true?
I might be right. I might be wrong. I might change my mind.
I think we all do our own parts. And if there are people who don't like decisions we made, the role we played and couldn't take the situation they're in, it's not our faults. You cannot guarantee other people's happiness, you're not that strong. But you have full control of your life and how you're going to live it.
Some people play safe, risk a little and gain a little. Some people taking risk, they might lose big or win even bigger. And there's nothing wrong with both of it. It's just their ways of living a life. In the end, all we ever want is happiness.
There are people who think life is a battlefield, others think life is a playground. And maybe life is just what you picture what it should be.
I thought I was a coffee lover. Tapi ternyata 3 gelas capuccino dalam semalam cukup membuat tidur gue nggak nyenyak dan bangun dengan kepala pusing. Over dosis kafein, sepertinya. Dan tadi gue ngeliat bayangan gue di cermin, ada lingkaran hitam di sekeliling mata gue. Duh.
Gue pengen bilang: nggak lagi-lagi deh gue ngobrol-ngobrol bareng temen-temen gue sampe pagi di malam kuliah. Tapi kayaknya if I had another chance I would do the same deh.
Menyenangkan menghabiskan waktu dengan orang-orang yang nggak memikirkan besok harus ngapain, masa depan mau gimana, kuliah apa yang diambil, lulus kapan, dan lain-lain. It's nice to wind up a little. Punya hal-hal lain untuk diobrolin selain penelitian, rancang pabrik, kuliah pilihan, yadda-yadda-yadda... We only have one life, baby! So live for today and be happy.
Dan cukup menenangkan, gue rasa, untuk tahu ada orang-orang di sekeliling lo yang bisa bilang: be yourself, you're special in every single way. Dan menyadari that you don't have to listen every word people are saying. People judge, walaupun mereka nggak pernah punya hak untuk itu. Tahu apa sih mereka tentang apa yang lo rasain, apa yang lo pikirin, kehidupan seperti apa yang lo jalanin. Ada orang yang yang bunuh diri di mall. It's not something that you should be laughing at, more less mocking at.
Di sisi lain, waktu kita punya masalah, kayaknya it's all that matter in this world. Dan selama setahun belakangan ini gue belajar kalau masalah itu sebetulnya cuma ditentukan dengan bagaimana lo bereaksi atas semua kejadian yang menimpa lo. Sering gue mengharapkan hal yang lebih, jadinya gue kecewa waktu hal itu nggak terjadi. Jadi gue pikir, bahagia itu mungkin memang ditentukan dengan sudut pandang lo.
Waktu kita kecewa dengan orang-orang terdekat kita, terus bilang: nyokap gue nggak mau ngerti gue lalalalala... Sebetulnya keenggakbahagiaan lo itu karena lo mengharapkan nyokap bisa lebih pengertian, berpikir dengan cara lo berpikir, dsb. If she's not your mother, or if you didn't expect her to do so, kekecewaan itu nggak akan ada. Lo bahagia terus.
I practically came home to an empty house. Ortu selalu berangkat pagi, pulang malem. The sisters sekolah dari pagi disusul les sampai malem juga. Gue bahkan nggak inget kapan terakhir kita liburan bareng, karena ortu gue susah cari jadwal yang match buat cuti. Me and my mother or father, even my mother and my father, didn't always get along very well. Setiap keluarga punya masalahnya masing-masing. Akhirnya cuma masalah mau apa nggak gue menerima bahwa my family isn't perfect, dan nggak semua yang gue pengen itu terwujud.
Sucks. I'm still trying to accept it. Good Lord, I just want to be happy.
Di TV bolak-balik nyiarin kasus Century. Gue yang tahun lalu mungkin ngikutin bener-bener beritanya. Tapi sekarang males. Duh, kenapa ya gue bukannya makin cerdas malah makin ignorant. Kalau kata twitter-nya Indra Herlambang: me being ignorant doesn't mean I don't love my country, I'm just protecting myself from brain damage. *yeah, sekarang gue meng-quote presenter !nsert* Kalo gue..., capek aja. *grin* Kalau nonton, gue pasti emosi. Mending gue ngurusin yang lain dan membiarkan pihak dengan otoritas berkreasi.
Jadi daripada memikirkan hal-hal yang membuat perasaan gue (halah) nggak enak, gue berfokus pada hal-hal yang membuat gue tertawa dan senang. Seperti waktu SMA. Kalau gue lagi males ke sekolah, gue akan mengingat-ingat ada hal apa nanti di sekolah yang membuat gue seneng. Mendapat kesempatan untuk pake sepatu baru, misalnya. Sekarang untuk membelokkan pikiran dari Century (yang lagi ditonton bokap di bawah), gue menonton... dum-dum-dum... Beauty and The Geek.
I'm so having mind-degradation. I was never into reality show before. Not even Running In Heels, Dhim. Gue rasa interaksi antara attractive bitches dan Star Trek dorks selalu menyenangkan untuk ditonton. Kayak Seth dan Summer di The O.C atau Dan dan Serena di Gossip Girl.
Walaupun gue rasa reality show-nya fake deh. But it's still fun to watch. :)
Selamat tahun baru, semua! Di tahun ini gue bertekad *halah* untuk lebih bersyukur dan positif. Yeah! Hidup Mario Teguh! Dua hal yang masih susah banget gue lakuin. Terus gue juga harus berhenti mau ini dan itu, dan lebih fokus dengan apa yang bisa gue lakuin. Kayaknya banyak pe-er gue tahun ini. Hahaha..
Eniwei, sekarang jam setengah 4 pagi. gue baru beres ngerjain tugas kuliah bagian gue. Tapi kayaknya efek kafein masih ada, belum ngantuk gue..! Terus gue tiba-tiba inget. Pas siang-siang taun baru kemarin di CNN ada liputan tahun baru live from New York. Damn..! Americans are good at partying, aren't they??
Gue jadi jatuh cinta lagi sama lagu New York, New York nya Frank Sinatra.
Pengen ke New York *ngarep* Gue nggak ngerti kok bisa temen-temen gue ke Jepang, Aussie, Inggris.., di saat gue kemarin pulang ke rumah aja tiap hari nyokap gue selalu nanya: 'Kakak, sudah belajar?? Ayo, belajar!!!' Huks.
Yah, intinya, berkaitan dengan positif, tahun baru, dan Frank Sinatra, lagu-lagunya Maliq and d'Essentials yang baru bagus ya.. Ini playlist baru gue mengawali 2010. Ihiyy.
1. Happy - Leona Lewis
2. Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble
3. Mata, Hati, Telinga - Maliq and d'Essentials
4. Coba Katakan - Maliq and d'Essentials
5. Even If We Did - Joanna Wang
6. Smile - Uncle Kracker
7. Just The Two of Us - Bill Withers
8. Into You - Adhitya Sofyan
9. Buses and Trains - Bachelor Girl
10. Extraordinary - Mandy Moore
Setelah gue liat-liat nggak ada yang baru jg dari playlist gue ya.. Yah, pokoknya gue seneng dengernya. It's all about new year menurut gue. Tentang nggak menyesali yang udah lalu, menghargai apa yang dimiliki sekarang, dan tersenyum memandang masa depan *ceilah* Gue harus menekan pemakaian istilah-istilah menggelikan kayak gini nih.
My iPod's playing Jamie Cullum's But For Now right now. Selalu sukses meninabobokan gue. Morning World.., I'm going to sleep now.
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