And if we should not achieve that final consummation, if things should become worse than before, if the whole truth should be more insupportable than the half-truth, if it should be proved that the silent are in the right as the guardians of existence, if the faint hope that we still possess should give way to complete hopelessness, the attempt is still worth the trial, since you do not desire to live as you are compelled to live. Well, then, why do you make it a reproach against the others that they are silent, and remain silent yourself?
Kafka - "Investigation of The Dogs"
Children with their big eyes. Teenagers with naivety. Twenties and all the confusion. To amazingly graceful a hundred years old lady.
Seriously. This application is superbly beautiful. So much special it even brought me back in front of computer and write it on my blog.
I know I cry on many things. Films, books, news, articles and this project. It's just so much emotion radiated from the pictures and videos and even quotes. And you can see that the purpose of life itself is actually to live and make every second counts.
When we were children we were totally in this moment and we think big, think of being a princess. Or a rock star. Or a princess rock star. Then now when I'm in my twenties, I feel like I still have a lot of times. That the moment will eventually come for me to do big things. That it's okay now for me to make a few dozen mistakes more. But it's not.
Sadly, I realize being older means more responsibilities. When you are a kid you still have to go with your parents' rules. Now little by little you take over control of your own life. And more freedom means, well you know, more responsibilities. Gone was the day when you could screw things up and got away with that. Getting older means Mommy and Daddy won't have your back when you spend too much money on a pair of shoes. And people will eventually get bored with your constant flings and anti-relationship state of mind.
And hard work and sacrifices are probably worth it. Because I know when I'm, if ever, in my a hundred years old birthday, I will be very much content to know I've lived a pretty good life. That I did not make too many embarrassing mistakes. That I've lived everyday being simply happy.
I don't want to do things that make me feel free today and wake up tomorrow feeling bad about myself. So my 22-Project this year is to wake up everyday happy because I'm doing the right things rightly.
I'll start with exercising. Promise.
Last Saturday I went to Java Jazz Festival. I kind of wanted to see Corrine Bailey Rae's performance. Before I realized her show was on Friday night.
On JI Expo, first thing I noticed: the parking was crazy. Second thing: once inside, I could barely moved. Geez, just how many tickets sold. Didn't they have some calculations or something??
The special show was even crazier. Santana was scheduled on 10.30 and the hall gate opened half hour before. And thousands of people were already waiting.
On JI Expo, first thing I noticed: the parking was crazy. Second thing: once inside, I could barely moved. Geez, just how many tickets sold. Didn't they have some calculations or something??
The special show was even crazier. Santana was scheduled on 10.30 and the hall gate opened half hour before. And thousands of people were already waiting.
This is.. so many people.
And where's the so called artist anyway?
When I see a woman trying to cool herself down using a fan, I thought of forced convection.
Good thing I didn't think about amplitude and frequency when Chuck Loeb was on stage.
Maybe I should go back studying. Damn.
You know in movies where the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend got married, left our protagonist either devastated or suicidal. Well, it sort of happen to me. Minus the misery.
I feel like laughing all the time. Between reality and absurdity. Like a hyper child with high sugar blood pressure.
I once making fun of Novi. Teasing her about her old fling who left her to marry some country girl. That's not what happened here. But I just understand now that, really, life goes on. With or without you. Sometimes I get so caught up in my part that I don't realize, every single other person has life too.
I have not even graduated yet, he's already walking down the isle. Which makes me wonder.., is this really the guy I fell for once upon a time? Probably not. Then again, I don't think I am the same girl.
Is this supposed to be a nightmare? Why do I feel strangely ecstatic?
I'd been running to catch a glimpse of his shadow. I was infatuated, like a school girl blushing and speechless everytime he's around. And now when he's finally out of the way, instead of feeling lost, I feel... free.
Like letting go your first love and when you look back, you feel nothing but grateful. For things he made you feel. And what you've become of it.
I remember he said he's looking for a soulmate. He wanted to get married around age 28-29. And boy he did. Why I'm feeling proud because of it is strange.
Someone dropped in to your life. With some twisted ways showed you things you'd never seen before. After some time, their time with you would be over. But not before they changed your life, your views. In a way, open up the right path you ought to be walking on. And I forever would be thankful for that.
I'm glad that he finally had his answer. Like watching the last episode of How I Met Your Mother, but in real life.
As for me, I finally could close the book. For good. Forever. Without having to be worried that there would be a sequel.
I have never been this happy to hear a wedding announcement. And it wasn't even my wedding. My mom just called that she already has tickets for Java Jazz and I won't be able to make it because Chemical Engineering Exam is just around the corner and I still feel fine.
Wow. February is indeed a month full of love. Also for Ika and Ebhe. And my parents 24th anniversary.
Happy wedding, Dearests. Wish you all the best thing in life. Till death do you part. :)
Meet Cat, the neighbour's... well, cat. Ever since he got lost to our home couple days ago, he seems to be visiting a lot.
He came again this evening, while I was frying sausages and egg. (Our house is being re-painted for more than a week now. And the dust is driving us insane, my Aunt doesn't even want to cook anymore.)
Cat (I don't know his real name) is a snobbish hybrid. He doesn't linger on your feet, wanting to be hugged or petted. He will run to every direction in the house, smelling every corners. Or sit calmly in the newly-painted kitchen, not even bother to look at people who's calling him.
This evening Cat brought a new toy. A cockroach. Normally, I would say it gross. But Cat seemed to enjoy his play-date a lot. He would let the poor cockroach go, only to run catching it agan. Let free, run catching.
Few times Cat left cockroach lying on its back and it would play dead. Then Cat would check up on him. Once Cat finished helping cockroach on its feet, cockroach would run and Cat would be on his hunt again.
I found cockroach to be disturbing ever since I read Kafka's Gregor Samsa who turned into insect. It's supposed to be beetle, but Kafka's description about the insect also matches cockroach.
Anyway, finally the tiny body of cockroach could not take it anymore. It finally laid lifeless on the backyard.
Cat seemed to be quite taken aback. He tried to wake up the cockroach, but it just wouldn't move. Finally he gave up and moved away.
Then Cat sat calmly, now under the toilet. Ignoring my old, "Here kitty kitty Cat..."
When a young girl accused as a witch was dragged down from her parents, wailing and pleading for the priest to spare her life, I thought I was going to see a good film. Though of course it's Nicholas Cage, who took roles in Disney's National Treasure and Sorcerer's Apprentice, I should've known Season of The Witch would be just a plain fantasy.
Behmen (Cage) was a former knight of Crusade War who decided he had enough serving the Church when his army attacked a Moslem village and murdered hundreds of women and children. He and a fellow ex-crusader, Felson, then left the army and traveled along in search for civilization. After a month, they finally found a village.
Behmen and Felson visited the village just to buy horses and food supply and planned to leave soon after. But a boy accidently dropped Behmen's sword and the villagers recongized him as a deceiver of Crusade War, therefore he also became the enemy of God. Behmen and Felson then being captive and put into the dungeon.
Meanwhile, the so called village was plagued by strange disease. Almost everybody was infected, from the dirtiest scavenger on the street to the holiest local priest.
The Church believed the black witch was the cause. A middle-rank priest found a girl alone on the street, muttering words no one could understand. He's then convinced she's the witch and arrested her. The Church needed the witch to be deliver to someplace which name I couldn't remember, therefore they need some capable hands.
At first, Behmen and Felson refused to do so, having sworn never to serve the Church anymore. But after they saw the girl, in miserable condition to say the least, they decided it was best for the girl to be sent and given fair trial immediately. So then the journey of two former crusaders, a local knight, a priest, a merchant and a suspect began..
From the beginning until 3/4 of the movie, I thought this film would be another critism to the witch-hunt in 1400s. When hundred of thousands of women were captured, drown, hung and even burned alive for witch-craft practices which were never proven to be true.
Like at the beginning of the movie, when a woman said all she did was to give herbal medicine to a wounded man. And when the alleged 'black witch' said that in her village, there used to be a girl who was accused as a witch. To prove her innocence, she was pushed into the river. If she died by drowning, then she wasn't a witch. If she survived, then she was a witch and had to be burned.
Most disappointingly, it turned out that Season of The Witch was just a dull journey of ex-crusaders to escort an idiot devil to someplace. The reason of why the devil ever needed escort was another absurdity.
In the end of the movie, I was thinking: So what's the point? Are they really saying that killing hundred thousands women in 14th to 17th century was necessary?
The Samsas took ‘Gregor is now a beetle’ as a fact, not even had the slightest rumination like ‘there’s a monster inside Gregor’s room and it most probably has killed him’. Therefore instead of calling police or doctor or pest extinguisher, they kept beetle Gregor as a secret shame.
Gregor, despite tremendous unfortunate event that happened to him, could only think about how much he put his family in such inconvenient state. He wished, above anything else, to go back to work and provide his family a comfortable living and send his sister to a reputable music school.
A beautifully written bizarre story. As if mocking people who make a fuss over the superficials. The real tragedy is when your family member turns into insect over night. Anything else is solvable.
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