love in trial

Barusan saya nonton berita di TV (setelah bolak-balik pindah channel dan memutuskan tidak jadi nonton Upin dan Ipin). TVOne sedang menampilkan berita kerusuhan di Bangkok. Saya jadi ingat kerusuhan di Jakarta lebih dari sepuluh tahun lalu dan mengira-ngira mana yang lebih buruk, chaos di Indonesia atau di Thailand. Bukannya itu sesuatu yang penting juga sih.


Waktu reformasi '98 saya masih SD. Untungnya keluarga orangtua saya tinggal di Bogor, hitungannya relatif aman lah. Pembakaran dan penjarahan seingat saya tidak sampai ke Bogor. Namun berita-berita di TV saat itu cukup meneror orang-orang dewasa, sehingga begitu ada kabar akan ada demonstrasi, sekolah-sekolah pasti diliburkan.

Sebagai anak kecil rasanya saya juga tidak begitu terganggu dengan keadaan saat itu. Saya juga tidak mengerti kenapa waktu itu mahasiswa berbondong-bondong ke Senayan dan menduduki DPR/MPR. Saya cuma tahu saat itu kalau Soeharto itu sudah terlalu lama jadi presiden, jadi harus lengser. Saya juga ingat sedikit-sedikit berita tentang kematian mahasiswa saat demo, penjarahan, gedung-gedung dibakar... Baru akhir-akhir ini saya mendengar tentang peristiwa pemerkosaan dan pembunuhan etnis Tionghoa di Indonesia.

Yah, balik lagi ke kerusuhan Thailand, waktu saya melihat beritanya, saya agak bertanya-tanya mungkin tidak ya, kejadian yang sama terjadi lagi di Indonesia. Saya pikir tidak sih. Indonesia, dari pengamatan saya yang tidak bisa dibilang mengamati dengan seksama juga, sudah jauh lebih berkembang di tahun-tahun belakangan ini. Jadi saya cukup yakin clash antar rakyat ini tidak akan terjadi di Indonesia. Eh, tapi kemudian setelah berita tentang Thailand muncul berita selanjutnya yaitu 'warga menyerang supporter Persija', terjadinya di Cikampek. Haduh.

Saya masih yakin sih kalau chaos yang sangat parah tidak akan terjadi lagi, setidaknya tidak dalam waktu dekat-dekat ini. Saya merasa Indonesia sekarang semakin bersatu. Mungkin ini efek Thomas Cup yang jadi trending topic di Twitter. Ah, saya jadi mikir mungkin kemudahan komunikasi saat ini (twitter, blog, facebook) juga ikut membangun kebersamaan yang lebih luas. Maksud saya, dengan Twitter saja orang-orang kan jadi ngeh kalau banyak orang yang mendukung Indonesia, dan itu membuat kita merasa memiliki koneksi satu sama lain sebagai warga negara. Yah, itu satu teori.

Eniwei, saya ingat waktu melihat berita tentang Thailand beberapa minggu yang lalu bersama sepupu saya. Waktu itu diperlihatkan massa yang menyerang polisi. Dia bilang, "Ini berarti negara mengadu rakyatnya sendiri. Polisi kan rakyat juga."

Sedih ya. Negara tidak mampu melindungi rakyatnya sendiri, di negeri sendiri.

Alasan dari kerusuhan dan clash kan biasanya perbedaan. Perbedaan pandangan, perbedaan cara, perbedaan ini dan itu. Pemerintah yang berkuasa di Thailand maunya ini, kaus merah maunya itu. Kalau di Indonesia sekarang mungkin adalah perbedaan ideologi. Lebih gawat sih, karena itu kan yang jadi dasar pembentukan satu negara. Mereka yang diklaim sebagai teroris mau mengubah Pancasila menjadi hukum, yang katanya, Islam. Untungnya di Indonesia masih banyak yang percaya Pancasila, masih banyak yang menghargai perbedaan, dan masih banyak yang ingin hidup tenang.

Mungkin untuk menuju sesuatu yang besar kita memang harus melewati pahit-pahitnya dulu. Kan katanya kalau kita berhasil melewati yang buruk-buruk bersama ikatannya jadi lebih kuat. Amerika Serikat pernah melewati Civil War antara utara dan selatan, warga Jerman keturunan Yahudi pernah mengalami pembantaian NAZI, revolusi Perancis memenggal rajanya, ratunya, dan bahkan pemimpin revolusinya, Jepang dan restorasi Meiji, dan seterusnya... Bahkan Korea. Walaupun yang ini 'berantem'-nya berakhir dengan 'putus'-nya Korea Utara dan Korea Selatan.

Jadi mungkin segala sesuatunya terjadi untuk membuat kita jadi lebih baik. Kalau bukan untuk hari ini, ya besok. Atau minggu depan. Atau bulan depan. Atau tahun depan. Atau... yah, kapan pun itu saat kita berhasil mengerti pelajarannya.

as I know

I feel like I would hate adult world. Adult problems. Adult misery. Well, I suppose no one can help it. But sometimes I wish time would go a little slower. That certain things could linger a little longer. That change would not rush so fast.


As much as it annoys me, I know it's better to let things the way they are. Just do what is worth at present. Future is too unpredictable and all I have is here and now.

Que sera, sera. Face it, accept it, live with it.

some of us



I've read couple books about wars. Mostly about World War II. Aside the fact that they're all fiction, those books show a glimpse of heartaches of the people involved. What was the purpose of war itself, I guess I could never understand. More like a sick game for terribily sick minds. I don't know how could men ever find this twisted idea of massacre as a way to gaining/maintaining world peace.

The Street of A Thosand Blossoms was a beautiful story about how Japanese cope during and after World War II. How was it like having your life turned upside down in one night? Having not the slightest to really understand the situation you're in.

Most of all are just ordinary people. One of millions of citizens of a country. What's it like to put your life, your everything on the hand of a country that cannot defend your being? How frustrating. How helpless. We all just try to survive, in our own way. Some works from 8 am to 5 pm a day, trying to earn some decent payment. Some manipulates others to gain even bigger cash. Some steals or robs. Some takes it the easy way and begs on the street, taking advantage of other's good intention. Some betrays her country, some hides beneath the mask of his honor and loyalty.

The Piano Teacher spoke it all. Defenseless state and survivals. It was the last book I read and I finished it in one day. As if I have no better-urgent things to do except locking up my room a whole day. But this book is THAT good. It's flowing, like I actually was watching a movie. Surprisingly not boring at all. I think the author did very well with the plot. It's rather funny in the beginning with such angsty-twisted ending.

The story is about Claire Paddleton, an English woman, who lived in HongKong because her husband was transferred there. Long story short, she soon began to develop an affair with a chauffeur of the rich family she's working on. This affair then led to the unrevealing of tragedies during the invation of Japan to HongKong.

I can see a little bit clearer of why HongKong loaths Japan. It's only friction of the whole war thing, and it's already unforgivably cruel. And to think that HongKong was invaded only because it was a British colony... I wonder if the Queen could sleep soundly at night during this period. So many people had to suffer and struggle, all because of one man say: "Let's bring this on!"

Who is the moron who said 'don't ask your country what it can do for you, but ask yourself what you can do for your country' anyway? Geez, some of us just want to live in peace and enjoy life as it is.

Anyway, back to the book. The writing style is too much American-like, in my opinion. A tiny-weeny intriguing as it's supposed to be a story about the affair of England and China. I don't do well with movies. My definition of good movie goes around 'The Devil Wears Prada' and 'Sex and The City'. But I'm really into books. And this one is a highly recommended.

the invention of God

I just watched The Invention of Lying and couldn't help myself but thinking that it was actually a man's disbelief in the existance of God and happy end. I guess it went deeper than just a comedy.

This movie basically about a man who had ability to lie when everyone else did not. Hell, they didn't even have the word 'lie' in their dictionary. It was a place when what came out from one's mouth was more believable than computer's data.

There's no 'I love you' when you don't really mean it. No 'it's not you, it's me'. In fact, Jen Garner in this movie said blatantly that she wanted to be married only with handsomely rich guys so she could breed to genetically-excellent offsprings.

This was this scene, where Mark's mom was dying and she looked very distress on the prospect of living in non-existance for eternity. Then Mark said, thanks to his lying ability, that she wouldn't. She would go to a place where there is no sadness, no pain. A place when you finally would meet again with those ones you loved. A peaceful place where everybody would get a mansion of their own.

A place we know as heaven. But of course, in this alternate world the concept 'heaven' and 'hell' did not exist. Because no one was able to tell lies.

The 10 amendments did not exist. God, or 'man in the sky' as he called it, did not exist. They were created by Mark, the only guy who could lie.

I don't think this movie was about opposing the existance of God, though. Simply to state that people somehow need lies. To give them hope that there would, eventually, be a happy end. To protect them from the harsh of reality. To tell that fat boy with snub nose that there was indeed something good in him. Then, who knows, maybe lies do come true.

This is what happened when…


…Devy watched too much Asian Food Channel in Sunday morning. She apparently did not take it for granted when her parents left home for a big family gathering, leaving behind their curious yet not-so-much-a-cooking-material daughter.

I looked upon some Rachael Ray’s and AFC’s recipes. I settled on chicken and began to read. But then we didn’t have some of those ingredients at home, like tequila and never-heard-about-it herbs. So I decided to improvise.

I honestly didn’t know what I was going to cook. I took chicken breast and prawn out of the refrigerator. And I remembered I read something about lemon juice on Rachael Ray’s recipe. But since we didn’t have it at home, I went outside and pick a fresh lemon from the house yard. Yeah. That kind of made me feels like I was living in a country side. Oh, and the bright side of me-picking-lemon-all-by-myself-for-the-first-time was that I finally realized that lemon plant does have thorns all over the twigs! How cool… I thought only roses have thorns.

Back to the cooking thing. I then put the prawns and chickens in a bowl, squeezed the lemon and -for some strange prophecy- poured cinnamon powder over the meals. Mean while, I thought that I would need some vegetables and found organic carrots and frozen vegetables in the refrigerator.

I like the feeling when I just put whatever things on the frying pan. And I’m not quite sure of what I was cooking but… at least it was edible. *grin*



Note: My sister also ate it and she said it was fine. So no, it wasn’t poisonous.

The way it goes

I was wondering alone in front of my laptop. The night is getting old and it's silence surrounding me whole. Caught between what I thought and what I felt.

There are things you need to experience first before you can understand. Of how life goes and what it means. Of where fate leads and what it brings. And in some point of that journey, you can finally say: it's okay. This world is not meant to be perfect. You are not meant to get everything you want.

I drifted away... I have blamed them, her, him. I have blamed me. But still I couldn't find peace in the black sheep. So for almost too long time, I finally embrace reality and take life as it is.

There got to be reasons for everything. There got to be greater good in the further of your going.

Make believe. Someday I will understand.

,

say it with...

Habis nonton I Hate Valentine's Day. Kalo meminjam istilahnya Aji sih itu namanya 1,5 jam yang menghibur.

Gue pengen nonton sesuatu yang lebih nggak predictable dan obvious deh. The Break-Up, lumayan. Devil Wears Prada dan It's Complicated, bagus. Gue kayaknya jatuh cinta sama Meryl Streep. Tapi memang genre film gue itu yang simple dan predictable deh. Buktinya Paris, Je T'aime masih nongkrong di atas meja. Gue nggak berani nonton.

Gue nggak suka nonton film yang membangkitkan emosi berlebih. Kayak The Revolutionary Road. Atau 500 Days of Summer. Atau Love at The Times of Cholera. Pokoknya kalau yang dari covernya aja udah keliatan seperti drama dengan banyak air mata, gue males.

I settle with
The Princess and The Frog and Alice in Wonderland, thank you very much.

Menurut gue, nonton itu untuk menghibur gue. Nonton Spongebob Squarepants menghibur. Nonton SAW jelas tidak. Apalagi film-film yang bikin nangis. Nonton itu untuk dihibur, bukan dibikin nangis.

No offense untuk orang-orang yang suka dibikin nangis sama film, though.

Ada orang-orang yang bisa ngambil makna dari film. Like what the movie maker want to say through a motion picture. Gue hampir nggak pernah bisa.

Kalau film-film Disney gue lumayan bisa. Beauty and The Beast was about don't judge a book by its cover. Pocahontas redefined the meaning of 'stranger'. Lion King showed bravery.

Pada suatu hari gue nonton Pintu Terlarang dan yang terlintas di pikiran gue adalah: jangan punya anak.

Gue prefer baca buku sih daripada nonton. Kayaknya kalo buku yang dibaca dengan kecepatan sesuka gue, bisa gue cerna dengan lebih baik. Dan menurut gue, buku bukan cuma untuk menghibur gue.

Buku yang menghibur itu contohnya Paman Gober. Buku buat gue lebih untuk sarana berpikir, menemukan suspens, tambahan pengetahuan... Mungkin film-film yang tidak untuk menghibur juga dimaksudkan untuk pengetahuan kali ya.

Pengetahuan yang hampir selalu gagal gue tangkep.

Maybe people need to make more Disney.

about me

Foto saya
Contact me: devy.nandya@gmail.com