The Samsas took ‘Gregor is now a beetle’ as a fact, not even had the slightest rumination like ‘there’s a monster inside Gregor’s room and it most probably has killed him’. Therefore instead of calling police or doctor or pest extinguisher, they kept beetle Gregor as a secret shame.
Gregor, despite tremendous unfortunate event that happened to him, could only think about how much he put his family in such inconvenient state. He wished, above anything else, to go back to work and provide his family a comfortable living and send his sister to a reputable music school.
A beautifully written bizarre story. As if mocking people who make a fuss over the superficials. The real tragedy is when your family member turns into insect over night. Anything else is solvable.
Mother Theresa once said: "If you're going on a march against war, count me out. But if you're going on a march to support peace, then I'm in."
On a sunny day, we met up again. Two friends who barely said a word to each other for almost a year. Awkward gestures, unsure what to do.
Dandelion goes from south to north, every winter day in the middle of the year. Tells you stories about lovers' longing and persistent devotees. How people met and how they said goodbye. Dandelion flies past your chest, digging old emotions and blurry remembrance.
Suatu hari, lama setelah menonton film indie Cin(T)a, membaca novel Eat Pray Love, melakukan yoga, bicara dengan Tuhan dan shalat, membaca buku Tuhan dan Hal-hal yang Tidak Selesai dan Sejarah dalam 10 1/2 Bab, dan bertanya-tanya kenapa Tuhan ngotot menyuruh Ibrahim untuk menyembelih Ismail... tiba-tiba terlintas begini: Kayaknya Tuhan, nggak meminta untuk disembah dengan satu cara.
In any other day, Harvest Cafe should be closing soon. Yet it was Friday night, so the store wouldn't be closed for another two hours.
Waktu lagi sedih, rasanya sulit buat nemuin hal-hal yang bisa bikin kita tersenyum. Tapi coba ya, waktu pikiran dan hati lagi tenang, ada luar biasa banyak hal yang bisa disyukuri dari hari ini. :)
Luigi Barzini, in his 1964 masterwork The Italians (written when he'd finally grown tired of foreigners writing about Italy and either loving it or hating it too much), tried to set the record straight on his own culture. He tried to answer the question of why the Italians have produced the greatest artistic, political and scientific minds of the ages, but have still never become a major world power. Why are they the planet's masters of verbal diplomacy, but still so inept at home government? Why they so individually valiant, yet so collectively unsuccessful as an army? How can they be such shrewd merchants on the personal level, yet such inefficient capitalist as a nation?His answers to these questions are more complex than I can fairly encapsulate here, but have much to do with a sad Italian history of corruption by local leaders and exploitation by foreign dominators, all of which has generally led Italians to draw the seemingly accurate conclusion that nobody and nothing in this world can be trusted. Because the world is so corrupted, misspoken, unstable, exaggerated and unfair, one should trust only what one can experience with one's own senses, and this makes the senses stronger in Italy than anywhere in Europe. This is why, Barzini says, Italians will tolerate hideously incompetent generals, presidents, tyrants, professors, bureaucrats, journalists and captains of industry, but will never tolerate incompetent "opera singers, conductors, ballerinas, courtesans, actors, film directors, cooks, tailors..." In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.
Ada dua hal yang paling nggak saya suka di dunia selain perang: konfrontasi dan perpisahan. Saya nggak suka harus menangis atau marah atau sedih. I have this strange idea of living a life like a sitcom. Maksudnya, hidup yang sederhana, penuh ketawa, ceria, kalau ada masalah pun bisa diselesaikan dalam setengah jam slot waktu tayangnya.
Bisa kan ya hidup begitu ya? *ngarep*
You bent your body on your bed. Like a child, you held your knees and closed your eyes. You're praying for this silence to break, for this pain on your chest to disappear. You still had your BlackBerry in your palm. You opened your eyes, lifted your hand in front of your head, and stared at that smartphone for a whole five minutes. Hesitated.
You finally lowered your hand, closed your eyes again and let the phone slipped from your hand and onto the bed.
City lights of Melbourne westward looked intensively amazing through your apartment window. It's like the city had been wrapped by a golden chain. You could even see the sparkling diamonds of West Gate Bridge near the horizon. If only you were willing to take a couple steps toward your window, opened it, and let the night wind of Melbourne softly caress your face, you'd hear me whisper: "Why don't you pick up your phone?"
You stayed put. Wished the warmth of your bed would calm the coldness of your surrounding. It didn't take long, you tossed and turned. As if trying to figure out the best position of sleeping. But loneliness for you, never been the greatest lullaby. Your hands searching for a phone underneath the blanket that was hugging your body from toe to shoulder. But as your fingers touched the phone screen, again, you hesitated. I was watching and praying. That this time you would pick up your phone.
You don't have to be alone, I would want to say. Because we could make it work, if only you give it a chance. But your ears always turned deaf every time I said those. It's like you already closed the door that's not even half opened.
You still wouldn't pick up your phone.
This time you sat up and sighed heavily. You're just sick and tired of this situation. All this silence and loneliness that ate you alive, piece by piece. You would want to say it's enough. You wanted to scream and cry even only for two minutes. You needed warm body to hold you close. Feeling the other's life energy seeping through your skin. To remind you that you, too, a human being. And I guessed my voice was never enough.
They said when you focused on one thing, the rest became unseen. It happened to you. Cause you saw only possibilities. You stopped believing in faith and blame it to fate. You didn't want to be hurt, you said. Stop it. Before it's too late and irreversible. But still you're alone, felt utterly small beneath the big sky of Victoria.
Finally you put your blanket aside, rather roughly. It's enough, you decided. You got up from your bed and headed to a desk beside the closet, almost like running. You grabbed your car key and rushed for the front door. Not even bothered to put on a jacket. It's a mid January night; the weather was still warm even when it's almost ten at the evening.
Suddenly you stopped, remembered something had been forgotten. You walked back toward your bedroom and saw white-cased BlackBerry on your bed, half covered by a pillow. You grabbed it and, again, stared at it. You always hated chickens, now you're cursing yourself for becoming one of them. You pressed the bottom and searched for a name on your phonebook. But instead of dialing, you canceled and put the phone back onto your pocket.
You had decided something and you would not change your mind. You never did. Even when it came back crushing you. What's done, done. And I hated, as well as I loved, you for that.
You walked out of your room and headed to the front door of your small, one bedroom apartment. You opened the door and stepped outside. Then you closed and locked the door behind you. Never once looking back.
While I could only stared at the silhouette of your back... slowly faded as one door closed.
Dear heart,
haven't you had enough
of traveling across the sky
come back again
beaten down
like a broken child?
Dear heart,
haven't you got tired of hoping
hit the lightning
only to find a corner
yet again
with no happy end?
Dear heart,
did you really think
that love is
the answer to your every prayer?
Dear heart,
if one should fall
should it be this hard
to get up?
Dear heart,
when letting go is not an option
why don't you hate
just to be angry at everything
and lose yourself in misery
until you feel like numb
uncharacteristically stoic?
Dear heart,
could you pretend to be asleep once again
and not notice the chain
just to have love stay
once again.. after the rain?
I don't want to make promise I can't fulfill. To remember you. To always be close.
Perhaps only few of us will stay in touch. Perhaps, as our hair turns gray, you and me will be lost in a haze of memory.
But while we still have the chance, I want to stay and hold your hands. Lay my head on your shoulder just like we often do. Drive our way to sunset.
Hours from now we will be parted. Each of us will be heading to different directions, reaching for different places.
And we will be okay.
Life has much to offer. And sometimes, it takes goodbye for a price.
Happy graduation day. Will be missing you. :)
note:
Perhaps I'm indeed good at romanticing situation. Quite number of people asking me if there's any special person I was refering through this post. Well, there were. For my good friends, Chemical Engineering Class of 2006.
These past couple days I got a chance to pretend to become a working lady. Go for work on 7 am then be back home before 6 pm.
Sesuatu menghampiri gue waktu lagi baca blog-nya pacar (?) nya temen gue. Sesuatu itu adalah... pemikiran bahwa: kok hidup gue biasa banget ya?? Hahaha.. Mungkin gue kurang melihat segala sesuatu dari perspektif yang unik. Mungkin gue terlalu bebal untuk berempati. Mungkin gue kurang bersyukur. Mungkin gue kurang nekat.
Barusan saya nonton berita di TV (setelah bolak-balik pindah channel dan memutuskan tidak jadi nonton Upin dan Ipin). TVOne sedang menampilkan berita kerusuhan di Bangkok. Saya jadi ingat kerusuhan di Jakarta lebih dari sepuluh tahun lalu dan mengira-ngira mana yang lebih buruk, chaos di Indonesia atau di Thailand. Bukannya itu sesuatu yang penting juga sih.
I feel like I would hate adult world. Adult problems. Adult misery. Well, I suppose no one can help it. But sometimes I wish time would go a little slower. That certain things could linger a little longer. That change would not rush so fast.
Habis nonton I Hate Valentine's Day. Kalo meminjam istilahnya Aji sih itu namanya 1,5 jam yang menghibur.
Gue pengen nonton sesuatu yang lebih nggak predictable dan obvious deh. The Break-Up, lumayan. Devil Wears Prada dan It's Complicated, bagus. Gue kayaknya jatuh cinta sama Meryl Streep. Tapi memang genre film gue itu yang simple dan predictable deh. Buktinya Paris, Je T'aime masih nongkrong di atas meja. Gue nggak berani nonton.
Gue nggak suka nonton film yang membangkitkan emosi berlebih. Kayak The Revolutionary Road. Atau 500 Days of Summer. Atau Love at The Times of Cholera. Pokoknya kalau yang dari covernya aja udah keliatan seperti drama dengan banyak air mata, gue males.
I settle with The Princess and The Frog and Alice in Wonderland, thank you very much.
Menurut gue, nonton itu untuk menghibur gue. Nonton Spongebob Squarepants menghibur. Nonton SAW jelas tidak. Apalagi film-film yang bikin nangis. Nonton itu untuk dihibur, bukan dibikin nangis.
No offense untuk orang-orang yang suka dibikin nangis sama film, though.
Ada orang-orang yang bisa ngambil makna dari film. Like what the movie maker want to say through a motion picture. Gue hampir nggak pernah bisa.
Kalau film-film Disney gue lumayan bisa. Beauty and The Beast was about don't judge a book by its cover. Pocahontas redefined the meaning of 'stranger'. Lion King showed bravery.
Pada suatu hari gue nonton Pintu Terlarang dan yang terlintas di pikiran gue adalah: jangan punya anak.
Gue prefer baca buku sih daripada nonton. Kayaknya kalo buku yang dibaca dengan kecepatan sesuka gue, bisa gue cerna dengan lebih baik. Dan menurut gue, buku bukan cuma untuk menghibur gue.
Buku yang menghibur itu contohnya Paman Gober. Buku buat gue lebih untuk sarana berpikir, menemukan suspens, tambahan pengetahuan... Mungkin film-film yang tidak untuk menghibur juga dimaksudkan untuk pengetahuan kali ya.
Pengetahuan yang hampir selalu gagal gue tangkep.
Maybe people need to make more Disney.
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