deary

Dear heart,
haven't you had enough
of traveling across the sky
come back again
beaten down
like a broken child?

Dear heart,
haven't you got tired of hoping
hit the lightning
only to find a corner
yet again
with no happy end?

Dear heart,
did you really think
that love is
the answer to your every prayer?

Dear heart,
if one should fall
should it be this hard
to get up?

Dear heart,
when letting go is not an option
why don't you hate
just to be angry at everything
and lose yourself in misery
until you feel like numb
uncharacteristically stoic?

Dear heart,
could you pretend to be asleep once again
and not notice the chain
just to have love stay
once again.. after the rain?

Class of 2006

I don't want to make promise I can't fulfill. To remember you. To always be close.

Perhaps only few of us will stay in touch. Perhaps, as our hair turns gray, you and me will be lost in a haze of memory.

But while we still have the chance, I want to stay and hold your hands. Lay my head on your shoulder just like we often do. Drive our way to sunset.

Hours from now we will be parted. Each of us will be heading to different directions, reaching for different places.

And we will be okay.

Life has much to offer. And sometimes, it takes goodbye for a price.

Happy graduation day. Will be missing you. :)



note:
Perhaps I'm indeed good at romanticing situation. Quite number of people asking me if there's any special person I was refering through this post. Well, there were. For my good friends, Chemical Engineering Class of 2006.

a second best

When she giggled he would smile, put his hand on top of her head. They would laugh over movies, over his favourite songs, over life.

'Don't love me,' he whispered. 'Doesn't matter if I do, just don't love me.'

She would cry and he would stay.

Because when they parted and went home, between phone calls and texts, she was never belong in his life.

And the kisses were not shared between true lovers. A shodow of someone else's presence.

Perhaps because she could not find tears in confused heart. Thus she told him, 'I'm afraid you would hate me.'

He would laugh and say, 'Silly girl. You are special.'

Only so she could smile.

Tomorrow there will be only forgive and forget. Tomorrow there will be no space for complique. Tomorrow he will be different and she will change.

Maybe someday she'll no longer be a second best.

I'd rather go for beach...

These past couple days I got a chance to pretend to become a working lady. Go for work on 7 am then be back home before 6 pm.


I realize, I am so not an office worker material.

I'd rather go for crowds, taking pictures. Or stay on the beach, reading a book. Or go to a cafe, writing anything. Or go for movies. Or ride a bike across Lippo Cikarang. Or knitting.

But college is sweetly annoying as it is. I have to work on a plant, 6 days equivalent to 40 hours per week.

And no, they don't even give me free jelly.

*deep breath*

But whining and complaining will never do me good. Two months is not that long, after all.

I'll hang on.

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

A wolf stared at the rabbit and said: "Come my dear, come to my house. I will cook you a very delicious carrot soup."

The rabbit stared back and thought. He already knew this wolf. A big bad wolf. But the rabbit was very hungry, and this time the wolf seemed kind.

"Don't hesitate, Child... Come inside!" the wolf said again.

The rabbit then came into the house of the wolf. The wolf did serve the rabbit a very delicious carrot soup. A lot of it, in fact. Until the rabbit could barely walk for his stomach was too full.

The wolf smiled sheepishly at the sight of the rabbit. A very fat rabbit with soft fur and tender meat.

The rabbit became very sleepy, so that he fell asleep on the floor of the wolf's house.

The wolf grabbed a very big knife on his kitchen set and... WHOOOSS!! Slaughtered the rabbit on the neck.

So it's probably not quite a children's tale.

Kids should stay away from big bad wolves.

sickening melancholy of 'good-luck'

When hands were lifted to shake and wave. When light squeeze on the shoulder were given. When bear hugs were shared. When the kiss on the cheek were exchanged. When the night's come to an end.

We parted. Each now on its own.

When it comes to mystery, life is the master and I'm in misery. Guessing, assuming, calculating... I've never been good in math. We probably will meet again. Life probably will twist everything to final end.

This July, I hate goodbyes.

about me

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Contact me: devy.nandya@gmail.com